WHY?

WHY? It is probably the question asked most by children everywhere. It starts when they are trying to figure out the world around them. It is a word that some mothers learn to dread, especially if it is dealing with more serious matters. I know that I have had to choose my words wisely quite a few times when asked the dreaded "Why?" questions by my five year old Christina. Mostly, because every mother knows that if you don't answer the initial question in just the right way to satisfy their inquiring minds, then it is immediately followed by yet another "Why?" (And sometimes a whole stirring of Whys.)

You see, a five year old knows that if they ask enough whys, they will eventually get the answer they were looking for, or at least the answer that will satisfy their curiosity for the moment. (That is unless they get a "Because I said so" or "Just because" answer that my mother was famous for. And I might add that I have gotten pretty good at myself.)

With everything that has been going on in my crazy, mixed up life right now, I have found myself reverting back to that 5 year old mentality. I think I have been hoping that if I ask enough whys then maybe my life will make sense again. Maybe if I keep questioning, then I will find the answer that I am looking for. Maybe, just maybe, I can truly move on if I can just figure out why this is all happening.

But God doesn't work that way. I have had to learn, or re-learn that is, how to truly trust in God and what He is doing in my life. God will answer all my questions, but the key is patience. Not in my time, but in HIS time will my questions be answered, and there is a chance that I may never know some of the answers. So I am waiting and listening, searching and hoping, both patiently and anxiously, for His answers. Could be today, or tomorrow, or even next year. But I have faith that He WILL answer in His own time, in His own way.

Until then, I am holding fast still to Jeremiah 29:11.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I don't know where my life will take me from here, but I know that constantly asking "Why?" is not getting me anywhere. Its only giving me frustration and anxiousness. So instead of "Why?", I am going to start simply saying thanks for what I do know.

Thank you Lord for Two beautiful Children who think I am the greatest mother ever.

Thank you Lord for a family that is always loving and supporting me in everything I do.

Thank you Lord for friends who make me laugh and always have an ear to listen.

Thank you Lord for loving me, even when I don't love myself.

Thank you Lord for forgiving me for my mistakes.

Thank you Lord for giving us Jesus Christ so that I CAN be forgiven for those mistakes.

Thank you Lord!
Thank you Lord!
Thank you Lord!