Christina-isms (AKA Payback for all the times I gave my parents attitude growing up.)

• I recently switched schools for Christina. She is having a hard time understanding why she had to leave her old school with her friends and her teacher she liked. She will get used to it and enjoy her new school as well. She is particularly irritated at the fact that "the bus driver does not know where she lives." You see, we live in an apartment and the bus drops all the kids from the complex off at one spot, which is not in front of our apartment. I am apparently "ruining her life."
• She was not even three the first time I was told I was ruining her life.
• She was only 3 1/2 the first time she told my mom she was frustrated and disgusted with her. Such big words for such a little girl. (I do believe that conversation also included the phrase "ruining her life.")
• I knew I was in trouble when she was only 18 months old. We were having her check up and the doctor was going through his list of questions to see if she was on track developmentally. One question will forever stick out in my mind. He asked if she was starting to put two and three words together. I responded by telling him she was already speaking in short sentences. I proceeded to ask Christina to tell Dr. Reed about the zoo. No joke, she put her hands on her hips and said, "Mom, not today!" Oh, boy!
• Last week we came home after picking the kids up at their dads. We woke up the next morning and as we are walking down the stairs, Logan says, " I gonna clean this mess!" I asked Christina what he said because I didn't think I heard him right. She says, "He said he is gonna clean up the mess. And Frankly mom, I am a little disgusted at all this. I wanted this to be the cleanest house in the world." Apparently, while she was gone, my roommate's son had played in her room and not picked up the toys.
• Calvin and Logan are always ruining her life because they don't do what she wants them to do. But she says she isn't bossy.
• At four, we had her tested into Kindergarten because she missed the deadline by four days. She would still be five before school started and her doctor insisted we should try our hardest to get her in that year because she was ready. During the test, they flipped through this book and asked her to point to the picture that described whatever word they said. The very last word was DILAPIDATED. When the test was over, I asked the Counselor if she got that one right. She had, and I thought it was a guess. So, when we got out to the car, I turned around and asked Christina if she actually knew what dilapidated meant, or if she had guess. She said, "DUH, Mom! It's a broken down building."
  
• They actually did not let her go to kindergarten that year because she refused to write her name. Not that she couldn't, but she wouldn't. She just didn't want to.
• During that same test, they asked her to draw a picture. Then they asked her to tell them about it. She said it was her daddy and he was wearing panties that she drew on him. (I had to throw that one in there because it still makes me laugh hysterically, especially now.)
• She thinks my dad is the coolest guy in the world. If she ever tells you that you are crazier than her big grandpa, you have made it pretty high up on her list of people she likes.
• My parents are probably laughing right now and thinking I deserve everything I get.
• I probably do.