Anyone that has had any contact with me in the last 9 months, can attest to the fact that it has not been easy for me. There are even times now that I may look put together on the outside, but on the inside, I am a complete mess. I have a way of pretending that everything in my life is perfect, when in fact, I can't even understand the emotions inside of me. For example, the last few weeks I have felt so incredibly depressed, but instead of talking to someone, I just bottle it up inside.
I am not sure why I feel like I have to bottle up my feelings and emotions. Maybe its because I don't even know why I am depressed. Maybe it is because it is just easier that way because no one looks at you like you are pathetic or feels sorry for you. No one tries to make you talk when you obviously don't want to. No one is going to criticize how you feel. No one is going to try and give you advice, or worse yet, try and sympathise with you when they have no clue how you are feeling.
I am not sure why people can't get it. Sometimes, people just need some one to listen to them. You don't need to say anything at all. Just listen to me so I can get it out.
And a hug. Sometimes, that is all you can do and it is all that I want.
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