Tonight, I attended Wednesday night Church for the first time since youth group. A friend directed me up to a class called "Plan B." In a nutshell, it talked about how to deal when things in your life that don't go the way they are supposed to....when you are forced to revert to "plan B."
It was, unfortunately, the last class in the session, but it still hit home.
My whole life right now is my Plan B. Well.....maybe Plan C, or Plan Z......depending on what part of my life we are talking about.
Obviously, Plan A disintegrated the day Chad told me he didn't love me anymore. Though I tried to change his mind, I was forced to move on to Plan B.
PLAN B: Life without Chad
In the class, he asked what surprised us the most about ourselves after the events that occured forced us to move on to Plan B. The answer in my head was instant.
I AM strong.
Over the last year, I have learned that I have strength that I never knew I had. I heard so many times when I was going through it all that "God will not give you more than you can handle." There were times I would hear this several times a day.
There were times I wanted to punch the people in the face that were saying it, too. (Of course, I never really punched anyone in the face because I am not a violent person. I know that they just cared and wanted me to know that God cared too.)
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't believe what they were saying. I KNEW without a doubt that God would give me the strength. Seriously, though.......did I have to hear it every time someone tried to encourage me.
There was a point in time where I thought God had way more faith in me than I had in myself. Did God seriously think I could handle all of this? It wasn't just the divorce, there was other things going on in life that were also not the way they were supposed to be. I had such a heavy load, that I thought my back was going to break. My feet were going to give out from underneath me. I wanted to look up at the sky and say "Seriously, God? Are you sure?"
I made it through. God walked beside me the whole way. And on those days that I felt like the ground was going to give way underneigth me, he carried me.
I felt like I was standing on a ledge. I felt like I was gonna fall. But I knew that God wouldn't let me fall, and if by some chance I did fall.........God would be there to catch me or give me wings to fly.
Plan B is not what I had planned on, but the sky is the limit and I have wings to fly.