I am in a very....thoughtful mood tonight. I have been thinking about my life and how it has changed, and how I have changed in the last 3 and a half months. It hit me today when my car started acting up again, with a new problem. Instead of freaking out about it and wondering how I was going to deal with this on top of everything else, I was calm. I took it for what it was - one more hurdle that I was gonna have to figure out. Most importantly though, I knew it was gonna be okay. I knew I would figure it out. Whether I have to have it fixed or whether I have to get a new car, I KNEW I was gonna get it figured out.
Three months ago, or even a month ago, that wouldn't have been the case. I would have freaked out. I would have cried. I would have had a mental breakdown. I would have worried about it non stop till I figured it out or completely exhausted myself. Why the change in my reaction? Why am I happier? Interesting question.... It could be any number of things.
It could be the support of my family and friends.
It could be that I am feeling confident and sure of myself.
It could be my promotion at work.
It could be the fact that I just got back from an awesome vacation with my family.
Or it could be that I realize why all those things are happening to me. I realized that God is answering my prayers. The biggest thing I prayed for in the first couple weeks and months after all this happened was peace and understanding. Yeah, I also prayed hard for reconciliation with my husband, but I put it in all in God's hands. I understand that God gave people free will. God can't control how my husband feels, but he can work in his life. I also prayed hard for that - for God to work in his life. AND....I can see him working in my husbands life.
He has filled me with peace and I didn't even realize it. God is Good. He is so Good and so faithful. Our God is an Awesome God.